Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in sop3218's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
1:38 pm	I DO NOT appreciate receiving guilt trips from a fellow student about not attending lectures from a particular course. The fact that only 24 out of 125 students were at that lecture today does not necessarily mean that we don't see the importance of that course. In fact, I believe I appreciate the importance of that course in our future careers far more than the professor who teaches it. She know the importance of the needs of a statistician, but admittedly doesn't know what the clinician needs. Now, don't get me wrong, I do not think less of this professor because she has a PhD and not an MD. In fact, many of our professors with PhDs are more knowledgeable and superior lecturers. However, this woman is a statistician and is teaching a course on evidence-based medicine. She does not seem to know what "Evidence-Based Medicine" actually means and has designed a course that will fail to teach my fellow students what it means or to provide us with the tools to apply emerging evidence to our practices. Seriously, can one truly teach about evidence-based medicine without teaching people how to read and dissect journal articles so they might discern what conclusions are valid and what should be implemented in their practices? I know this professor is a very intelligent, talented woman from other experiences. However, she is not a good lecturer. My mom and I have had numerous discussions about lecturers and what they are expected to do ever since she started teaching again at the School of Nursing. She continues to miss my point. She believes that students expect to be entertained during a lecture. While it is definitely appreciated when it happens, it's not necessary. I had numerous lecturers at BU who were not entertaining in the least. That being said, I would never miss their lectures because I learned soo much from them. If I do not learn anything from attending a professor's lecture, I debate about going and may miss a few lectures. If a professor continually confuses my on topics I had previously learned which then requires more study time than if I never attended the lecture, I don't go. That's OK. I respect my professors. I'm one of the students who sits in class and talks the whole time. But, I also respect myself enough to not waste my time like that. I am investing a LOT of money in this education. It is not asking too much for professors who can actually teach. There were many professors at BU who did not seem to really enjoy teaching and would rather be performing their research. I HATE that fact and that contributed a lot to why I did not even apply to BU for med school. It seems like most professors at Creighton love teaching. But, that's not enough. And the administration needs to start assigning lectures according to an individual's ability to teach. There's the saying "Those who can't do, teach." Just because a person has a certain expertise or talent, doesn't mean that they can actually teach the material. This is a concept administrators need to get ahold of. There are other ways of utilizing people's talents and intelligence than having them teach. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 8th, 2008
11:34 pm	Smelly boys The power of smell continues to amaze me. Some smells, which really are not pleasant, evoke such happy, joyful times that they're beautiful and calming. While others... I once again have a smelly roomate. He went back to India for a month. I haven't seen him yet, but know that he is back simply by the smell that was hovering outside of his room when I got home tonight (a very warm, humid night, might I add). However, just earlier this evening, I was sorting clothes for a clothing drive down at our storage facility and was soothed by the not-so-pleasant smell down that hall from our unit. there is a man who is living in the unit 3 doors down from us. He smells...well, he smells like William. It makes me as happy as I feel when walking down the toiletry ail at the co-op and smell the pot-like odors of Caitlin's deoderant. Or when I clean my bathroom and the fumes from the bleach remind me of KP and Meghan Zack. Lilacs and peonies take me back to the house I grew up in. Big pots of vegetable soup or rotting vegetables. Brownies made from Nana's recipe. Alcohol wipes and the antisceptic scents of hospitals. The stale smell of Duchesne's hallways. Coffee roasting over an open flame. They all hold powerful memories. They remind me of people and places that have imprinted themselves in my heart. I used to think that scent would be the sense I would most willingly give up, but it's the one that can bring you close to loved ones when you can't see, hear, or touch them. Maybe I'll step outside for a minute to enjoy the lilacs that have been in bloom for the past couple of weeks... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 26th, 2008
10:47 pm	Thanks so much for the advice girls! Katie, your "social worker advice" was spot on and helped sooo much. And Theresa, I needed to be reminded about my feelings being valid. It's amazing how often people comit the hurtful act of taking away our emotions and telling us that's not how we should feel. I'm started to remember why I told Megan in the first place and how I did it knowing what was at stake. Yesterday was pretty rough because I found out that not only does Megan want to talk to me, Tim also wants to face up to what he did and take responsibility. I don't know what is more shocking - that Megan wants to acknowledge the situation, or that Tim does. The world has been flipped upside down! I spent this afternoon on the ocean whale watching and it provided the best opportunity for mental health care! While enjoying the open waters and avoiding being blown overboard by the fierce winds, I made a command decision - I have to take this opportunity and then move on with my life (once again). I could be disappointed by the outcome, but at least I have a second chance at closure. There are so many different positive things that could come from this - for me, for Megan, for Tim, for our whole family. Rather than being terrified, this is a chance to reclaim hope. I realized this afternoon how little hope I have any more. I'm on the wait list at Creighton, yet I have been proceding as if I was rejected. That's not the case. Every year, dozens of people are admitted to Creighton's med school off the wait list. I could get the news in a couple of weeks that I will start in August. It's time to give people a chance - me included. Contrary to what a counselor once told me, people can change! (Yes, I know...interesting profession for a women who doesn't think people can change.) Tim can change, Megan can, even I can. I could actually get into medical school. Baby steps though. There's a difference between being optimistic and being hopeful. In being hopeful, I will leave room for people to change and for me to be the person I want to be. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
11:23 am	so confused So, almost 6 years after my sister, Megan, and I had "the talk," she decides that we need to talk. Seriously? Now? Why? I really cannot do this right now, but how can I pass up the opportunity. She has ran away from this situation for years. I try day after day to accept it for what it is and attempt to come to peace with the fact that there will never be resolution to the situation. And now she wants to talk. What if I return her call and it's more of the blame game and hearing that I should have been over this years ago. I just don't know which would be worse - passing up this opportunity or taking it and being devastated by its outcome. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 24th, 2008
11:16 pm	That feeling that I had in Haiti...feeling like myself...well, I'm starting to feel it here in Boston. I had the most amazing Easter weekend. I spent most of my time at church, either during the various services or decorating and cooking for the Easter celebrations. I'm feeling at home here (not at BU, by any means), but, I'm feeling at home. It's just so cruel that I have this feeling when my future in Omaha is so up in the air, but I know I will be moving back there in just a few months. I don't want to go back for so many reasons. But, is there a choice at this point? Oh, when will I decide to start living my life and stop waiting for it to begin??? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
12:10 am	I've been home for a week and a half and all that I can say is I want to be back in Haiti. It's not so much that life is happier there; it's not. For God's sake! It's the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. I can't even say that it's for ultruistic reasons. The fact of the matter is that I felt more like myself there than I ever have in Boston. It's sick. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 30th, 2007
11:26 pm	Personal Statement I am FINALLY submitting my application tomorrow - with a personal statement that I'm fairly happy with! here it is: In January 2003, I sat at the bedside of an Iraqi woman recovering from wounds inflicted when a bomb dropped as she walked down the street. She lay at home surrounded by family with the wounds gaping, screws visibly holding bone fragments together and only Tylenol available to ease her pain. People who did not receive adequate health care became a familiar sight in Iraq. Hospitals were places to go when a person was desperate and dying; this was not how I new medicine to be. During my time in Iraq, as well as on the Navajo reservation and among the poor of Omaha I witnessed poverty that felt like the setting of a tragic movie. There were people in the United States living without electricity and teenagers squatting in abandoned buildings of downtown Omaha. But, their lives were not a movie. I got to know some of these very real people and knew I would never be able to stand idly by. In Iraq and on the Navajo reservation I met physicians who sacrificed much in order to treat these populations in great need. Witnessing their commitment made me realize that I did not have to split my time between medicine and social justice nor did I have to choose between my two callings. After my freshman year, I had taken a job as a phlebotomist in order to explore healthcare. As I performed each of my duties, I observed others - nurses, respiratory therapists, social workers - carrying out theirs and knew those jobs could make me happy. But, when I observed the physicians, I found a career that would challenge me on a daily basis. I want to assess the test results and piece together the information to find a diagnosis. When my phlebotomy supervisor asked me to train new phlebotomists, it was a challenge to find the right words to explain a task which had become second nature to me. Sometimes, the way I held the syringe or tied a tourniquet felt awkward to the trainee. When men with large hands tried the grip I use to milk blood from an infant's foot, blood ended up everywhere except in the collection tube. I had to find other safe and effective techniques. After much practice, my arms and fingers felt like pincushions, but my students could efficiently draw blood and inflict minimal pain. It was gratifying to influence patient care by training others and I saw the possibility of using my teaching ability in the future to educate new physicians. As I gained clinical experience and began to address injustices, I deprived myself the fullness of an excellent undergraduate education. So much of what I learned during that time was outside of the classroom. There is great disparity in people’s ability to meet their basic human needs. I responded by feeding the hungry and becoming involved in the political process. However, it came to realize that I wanted to more. The best way for me to address the needs of the underserved was to refocus on becoming a physician. To become a better candidate for medical school, I pursued a Master of Arts in Medical Sciences at Boston University School of Medicine I took this opportunity to discover my learning style and develop study skills. Taking classes alongside first year medical students, I learned the sciences that will provide a foundation for my own medical school experience. The material engaged me as I made connections between my class work and former patients. Biochemistry lectures on the point mutation that leads to sickle cell anemia and the Pathology lecture about the impact of the disease on the spleen brought to mind the faces of patients I saw repeatedly in severe pain in the ER because of sickle cell crises. Those patients added depth to the lectures I enjoyed so much. Because of my success in this program, I am prepared to do well in medical school. I took a job as a Study Coordinator in the department of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Boston Medical Center to fulfill the research requirement for my master’s. In the process, I have found that I really enjoy research. I now go beyond drawing the blood to testing it in the lab and am part of the development of knowledge that will play a role in patient care. Additionally, I am learning how to sift through the latest publications to decipher what is relevant and sufficient to initiate a change in practice. The highlight of my week is attending the Friday afternoon Infectious Disease Case Conference. When the fellows present a case or their own research, I see the material learned in my graduate courses at use. Hearing the attendings verbalize their method of coming to a differential diagnosis makes me excited for the day when I am the one to carry out that process. I do not have to live the dual life I knew as an undergraduate with one foot in the world of health care and the other in the world of social justice. They quite clearly go hand in hand. Watching physicians balance their clinical duties with research, teaching, and community involvement reassures me that I can find a way to incorporate my various talents and passions into my own career. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 13th, 2007
8:56 pm	What has happened to humanity? I was just looking at a newspaper article about a friend who recently passed away. Some a**hole left a comment on the site saying that it was his own fault. Even if that is what the reader truly believes, why the hell would he leave that comment? How could he not realize that the articles are the only way some of us have to feel connected to this person we care about? How could he think this is acceptable? It's not like this is a unique experience. After my uncle died and after I returned from Iraq people bombarded us with such disgusting thoughts. No one deserves that, no one! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 5th, 2007
5:51 pm	Personal Statement will never end!!! Thanks Jess, Pat, and Becky for your previous comments. They were a big help and confirmed my thoughts. How does this sounds? I sat at the bedside of an Iraqi woman recovering from wounds inflicted when a bomb dropped as she walked down the street. She lay surrounded by family with the wounds gaping, screws visibly holding bone fragments together and only Tylenol available to ease her pain. People not receiving adequate health care had become a familiar sight. Children were taken to the hospital only when the shadow of death was already visible in their eyes. Family members had to stay at their bedsides administering medication and changing bandages because of a nursing shortage. Hospitals were places to go when a person was desperate and dying. This was not how I knew medicine to be. Yes, I had seen suffering and struggles to receive healthcare in my work as a phlebotomist and through various service experiences. But, this was a magnification of the worst of what I knew. I finally realized that my call to serve those most in need could be fused with my life-long desire to be a physician. I took a job as a phlebotomist to explore healthcare. My days were spent traveling between the many units of the hospital. As I performed each of my duties, I observed others carrying out theirs. I saw nurses, respiratory therapists, and social workers perform their daily tasks and knew I could do those jobs and be happy with my life. But, in observing the physicians I found a career where I will be fulfilled. I look forward to the day when I am the one assessing the test results and piecing together bits of information to find an elusive diagnosis. My experience tutoring helped when my supervisor asked me to train new employees and phlebotomy students that came to the department. Initially, it was a challenge to find the right words to explain a task which had become second nature. Sometimes, the way I held the syringe or tied a tourniquet felt awkward to the trainee and we would have to find another safe and effective technique. This was especially the case when training men with large hands. Milking blood from a person’s finger or an infant’s foot required a different grip from what my small hands felt comfortable with. When the men tried my method, blood would coat their gloves and none would end up in the tube. After much practice, once my arms and fingers felt like pincushions, my students could efficiently draw blood, inflicting minimal pain. As I move forward in my career, I will mature in my teaching ability benefiting my patients and future students. As an undergraduate, I put more focus on addressing injustices and less on my class work, depriving myself the fullness of an excellent education as well as the opportunity to develop study skills necessary for medical school. Service projects, phlebotomy, and the people in my life overshadowed my personal goals. I now realize that I cannot carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, try as I might. I respect the commitments that I made. However, in order to become a physician and address the needs of the underserved in the way I am called, I needed to prepare myself for medical school. I pursued a Master of Arts in Medical Science at Boston University School of Medicine in order to do just that. During the Medical Science program I learned the sciences that will provide a foundation for medical school, proved that I can succeed medical school classes, developed study habits and discovered my learning style which will enable me to manage the vast amount of information in medical school. Moreover, I realized how intensely I enjoy the science of medicine. Whereas family and friends used to hear about adventures at work, now they receive calls of excitement over the latest material I learned. I must continue the path begun as a graduate student, deepening and maturing the skill set I acquired. The skills I developed as a phlebotomist have opened other doors for me. My ability to draw blood guided me into the world of research – a world I knew I would benefit from, but never saw myself as an active participant. I hear about the latest discoveries and know that I am part of that. The challenge of sifting through the latest publications and deciphering what is relevant and sufficient to initiate a change in practice is a skill that I am developing which will be central to my career. The highlight of my week is Friday afternoon when I attend the Infectious Disease conference. When the fellows present a case or their research, I see the material learned in my graduate courses at use. The attendings verbalize their process of coming up with a differential diagnosis and I await the day when I can do that. At the end of my shift as a phlebotomist, the units would quiet down and loneliness and fear crept in for many patients. Often I would return to a room after my shift because a patient needed company. A kind face or open ear could be sufficient for the patient to relax and fall asleep. Those were the patients I could do something for. Many times I would leave a patient’s room with the knowledge that I did not have the education or experience to help them. That is something I will change. I cannot change everything. I will not prevent or cure every illness but I can become the kind of physician they are able to respect and trust and are willing to work with to alleviate suffering in their lives. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 4th, 2007
11:17 pm	New Version of PS Does is still sounds like me? Did I cut too much? (still need to cut at least 113 characters :( ) When we left the room of my first patient as a new phlebotomist, Anita, who trained me, said I made a vital error. “Never ask a patient how they are. They’re in the hospital and don’t feel well. It’s just too depressing.” Though I was not yet an experienced phlebotomist like Anita, I knew she was wrong. One of the most important things that I could do is ask how my patients were and listen to their responses. That was the one thing I was sure of when I took a job as a phlebotomist, but there were many lessons yet to be learned. Was this the right environment for me? Could I handle the intensity day in and day out? Would it be fulfilling? Working in a hospital was how I was to discovery whether or not my dream of fusing a love of science with a desire to live a life of service to those most in need could be actualized in a career as a physician. My days were spent traveling between the many units of the hospital. As I performed each of my duties, I observed others carrying out theirs. I saw nurses, respiratory therapists, and social workers perform their daily tasks and knew I could do those jobs and be happy with my life. But, in observing the physicians that I found a career where I will be fulfilled. I look forward to the day when I am the one assessing the test results and piecing together bits of information to find an elusive diagnosis. My experience tutoring helped when my supervisor asked me to train new employees and phlebotomy students that came to the department. Initially, it was a challenge to find the right words to explain a task which had become second nature. Sometimes, the way I held the syringe or tied a tourniquet felt awkward to the trainee and we would have to find a safe and effective technique that was appropriate for them. This was especially the case when training men with large hands. Milking blood from a person’s finger or an infant’s foot required a different grip from what my small hands felt comfortable with. When these men tried my method, the blood would coat their gloves and none would end up in the tube. After much practice, once my arms and fingers felt like pincushions, my students could efficiently draw blood, inflicting minimal pain. As I move forward in my career, I will mature in my teaching ability benefiting future students I may supervise as well as my patients. As an undergraduate student, I put more focus on addressing injustices and less on my class work, depriving myself the fullness of an excellent education as well as the opportunity to develop study skills necessary for success in medical school. Service projects, working as a phlebotomist, and the people in my life overshadowed my personal goals. I now realize that I cannot carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, try as I might. I respect the commitments that I made. However, in order to become a physician and address the needs of the underserved in the way I am called, I needed to prepare myself for medical school. I pursued a Master of Arts in Medical Science at Boston University School of Medicine in order to do just that. During the Medical Science program I learned the sciences that will provide a foundation for medical school, proved that I can succeed medical school classes, developed study habits and discovered my learning style which will enable me to manage the vast amount of information available in medical school. Moreover, I realized how intensely I enjoy the science of medicine. Whereas family and friends used to hear about adventures at work, now they receive calls so I can express my excitement over the latest material I learned. Now, I must continue the path that I began as a graduate student, deepening and maturing the skill set I acquired. The skills I developed as a phlebotomist have opened other doors for me. My ability to draw blood guided me into the world of research – a world I knew I would benefit from, but never saw myself as an active participant. I hear about the latest discoveries and know that I am part of that. The challenge of sifting through the latest publications and deciphering what is relevant and sufficient to initiate a change in practice is a skill that I am developing which will be central to my career. The highlight of my week is Friday afternoon when I attend the Infectious Disease conference. When the fellows present a case or their research, I see the material learned in my graduate courses at use. The discussions of which antibiotic to use for a given patient with a given infection are fascinating and reflect the pharmacology and immunology I learned. I see how the attendings sift through the information presented, determining what is relevant. It is a thought process I enjoy and look forward to using. Anita was right; in listening to my patients, I heard a lot of complaints – about doctors and nurses, family members, lost opportunities and pain. At the end of my shift, the units would quiet down and loneliness and fear crept in for many patients. Often I would return to a room after my shift because a patient needed company. A kind face or open ear could be sufficient for the patient to relax and fall asleep. Those were the patients I could do something for. Many times I would leave a patient’s room with the knowledge that I did not have the education or experience to help them. That is something I will change. I cannot change everything. I will not prevent or cure every illness but I can become the kind of physician they are able to respect and trust and are willing to work with to alleviate suffering in their lives. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 3rd, 2007
1:19 am	Personal Statement continues Hey all! This is the current working version of my personal statement. If anyone has time to look it over and provide any feedback, I would be eternally grateful! This is me: In January of 2003, I sat at the bedside of an Iraqi woman recovering from wounds inflicted when a bomb dropped as she walked down the street. She lay in her bed surrounded by family with the wounds gaping, screws visibly holding bone fragments together and only Tylenol available to ease her pain. My time in Iraq was full of many experiences of people not receiving the aid they needed when they needed it. Children were taken to the hospital only when the shadow of death was already visible in their eyes. Family members had to stay at their bedsides administering medication and changing bandages because there were not enough nurses. Hospitals were places to go when a person was desperate and dying. This was not how I knew medicine to be. Yes, I had seen suffering and people struggling to have their needs met in my work as a phlebotomist and through various service experiences. But, this was as if someone had placed a magnifying glass up to the worst of what I knew. I finally realized that my call to serve those most in need could be fused with my life-long desire to be a physician. I do not have to travel to find shocking images in health care; I see them everyday. My neighbor became my patient when I worked as a phlebotomist. He was in extreme liver failure and unrecognizable. A week following his discharge, he was back to stumbling down the street with a half-empty bottle of liquor, begging everyone for a cigarette. Many of the patients that I encounter while on the Outreach Van, a project that provides basic medical care and access to services to the medically underserved, face similar struggles of attempting to address their own health care needs in the midst of addiction and other mental illnesses, poverty, and homelessness. Through these experiences, I have seen that providing good medical care requires a physician to be aware of the complexities of her patients’ lives and deciphering what is appropriate for the individual. As we left the room of my first patient as a newly hired phlebotomist, Anita, who was training me, informed me that I had made a vital error. “Never ask a patient how they are. You know they don’t feel well – they’re in the hospital. They are crabby and it is too depressing. Don’t waste your time.” Even if I was not yet an experienced phlebotomist like Anita, I knew that she was wrong. One of the most important things that I could do is ask how my patients were and listen to their responses. I heard a lot of complaints – about doctors and nurses, family members, lost opportunities, pain and loneliness. Sometimes what was said helped me to address my patients’ needs better by drawing their blood from a good vein they knew of or informing the nurse of a problem. Sometimes, I addressed my patients’ needs simply by listening to what they had to say. Service to my community is part of who I am, something I enjoy. I feel a responsibility for others, especially those who suffer most. As an undergraduate student, I put more and more focus on trying to address these issues and less emphasis on my class work, depriving myself the fullness of an excellent education as well as the opportunity to develop the study skills necessary for success in medical school. I now realize that I cannot carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, try as I might. I tried so hard to be a balanced person, that I became decidedly unbalanced. I placed so much emphasis on service projects, working as a phlebotomist and the people in my life that my personal goals were put on hold. I respect the commitments that I made. However, in order to become a physician and address the needs of the under-served in the way I feel called, I needed to prepare myself for medical school. I am pursuing a Master of Arts in Medical Sciences at Boston University School of Medicine in order to do just that. One of the most difficult parts of starting the master’s program was accepting the changes I had to make in my life in order to place academics first. I could not be involved in my community the way I once had. Nor would I be as readily available to friends and family. I had to be a little selfish and place academics at the forefront. I cut out most other things in my life, only adding them back in as I thought I could handle them. I learned how to use the word “no” and now appreciate its necessity. I have met self-imposed expectations during the Medical Sciences program. I have learned the sciences that will provide a foundation for medical school, proven that I can succeed in classes with the medical students, developed study habits and discovered my most effective learning style. Repetition and memorization are not my strengths. I need to discuss the material and work problems. I need to manipulate information and see it from multiple angles. This is my personal study style and the practices that will enable to me to manage the vast amount of information presented in medical school. Moreover, I discovered just how intensely I enjoy the science of medicine. My family and friends received numerous calls just so I could express my excitement over the material I had learned that day. And now, I must continue the path that I began as a graduate student, deepening and maturing the skill set I have opened up. This past spring, I began working at Boston Medical Center as a study coordinator where I participate in both the clinical and laboratory aspects of research. The necessity of research and innovation was readily apparent to me, but I now see a desire in myself to play a role in research. I did not anticipate enjoying it as much as I have. I love hearing about the latest discoveries and knowing that I am part of that. The challenge of sifting through the latest publications and deciphering what is relevant and sufficient to initiate a change in practice is a skill that I am developing which will be central to my career. I love working in healthcare. I get such energy from being present to people in the intense moments of an injury, death, or new life. I love the challenge of each new day, each new patient. But, being a phlebotomist is not my life vocation. I always feel a sense of loss when I finish the bed-side testing at a trauma because I want to be the one inserting the chest tubes, I want to be the one performing the surgeries and making the diagnoses. I wish that I could say my many experiences have led me to revolutionary answers regarding disparities in healthcare. They have not. If anything, I have more questions and see more needs unmet. However, I am resolved; I will be a part of the solutions. I will continue to work for the betterment of the under-served. I will do this as a physician. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 30th, 2007
8:20 pm	Personal Statement Crisis Why is it so difficult to say who I am? Why can't I write about the most significant experiences of my life, explain their meaning, and how all of it leads me to conclude, without a doubt, that I should be a doctor? yes, I know. I sound ridiculous. This is an incredibly important thing that I'm working on and yes, it should be difficult. Applying to medical school is no joke. However, this is my life - I should know what the important events are and what they mean to me! Right? I keep approaching this essay wrong. Either I write what I think I'm supposed to or I try to write as the person that I used to be. Most of the time, though, I am writing a watered down version of who I am. I need emphasize the stories and characteristics that make me distinctive, but I'm afraid that will scare the ad-comms and so it all gets watered down. argh! I've lost all of my stories! My poor roomates who, over the years, have listened to countless stories retold about the adventures at Creighton Med Center. And for what? I've forgotten each and everyone of them. OK, that was my irrational venting. But seriously, if anyone read through all of that and has words of wisdom as to how to write a cohesive, meaningful personal statement I would love you forever if you shared them. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 2nd, 2007
12:14 pm	Joe Firstman May 26, 2007 Paradise Lounge Boston, MA YAY!!!! (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 20th, 2006
12:17 pm	Oye! My sister drives me batty!!! Shaughn met this guy on eHarmony who she's been talking to on a daily basis for a couple of months now. He's in Omaha for the weekend (he's from Texas) and this is their first time to meet face-to-face. Shaughn called this morning and was absolutely giddy! They met last night and had a fantastic time. Shaughn told me all about it and she sounded happier than she's been in years. The problem? Well, they've been talking for months, so she has this false sense of security with him. She is convinced that she knows him, and yes, is some sense, she does. However, this is the first chance for them to be together. Because she knows him so well on the phone, she feels like she doesn't need to take the normal safety precautions you would early in a relationship. I gently reminded her to just use her head and be safe. Well, all of a sudden her alter-ego came out. After 1/2 hour of being happy with her and encouraging her, I became the enemy. I wasn't supporting her and I was going to put her in a bad mind-set so that she would sabotage this whole thing. Simply because I want her to use her head so that she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. Boy, am I an evil sister. Shaughn and I haven't talked as much the last couple years. She meets this guy and I'm suddenly talking to her a couple of times a week. I was starting to miss her, but man, I sure did NOT miss all of the drama! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
9:57 pm	Beautiful Day! This has been a fantastic day - one of those where the simple pleasures have meant everything! It started out with a mind blowing lecture on hemorrhage. It was so cool - it was an application of almost everything that I've learned in Physiology over the last two months. It was kind of over-whelming knowing that this is, in reality, more like what I will be faced with as a physician and there was a LOT of factors in play that feedback and influence each other. But, I realized that I knew more than I thought. And c'mon, it's just cool how the Cardiac Control Center works, the afferent and efferent arterioles, renin-aldosterone-angiotensin. The human body is freaking cool! After this fantastic lecture, I went to lunch at the cafe at Haley House (Boston Catholic Worker). The food was absolutely amazing and it was just really nice to get away from campus for a bit. Then, I took my cup of Fair Trade coffee and walked back to campus, enjoying the sunshine. It wasn't until I was about half-way back to BUMC that I realized I hadn't seen another white person since I left Haley House. Everybody was black. I don't know, there's just something about being in Roxbury that feels like home. It reminds me of the SOP neighborhood. It was really comforting. Not only was today a good day, but last night was fun - I heard a talk by Elizabeth Johnson. And tomorrow! Tomorrow, I get to hear Elie Wiesel and Jeffrey Sachs and a whole slew of other really amazing people. And then, I get the opportunity to face some demons of the past. Oh, and then it's time to begin the final push toward finals. Less than two weeks to go and lots of studying to be done. I'm so grateful for last night and today and what I have coming tomorrow morning. I'm really going to need the energy that these experiences have given me to get through the next two weeks. Yay finals! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 20th, 2006
7:22 pm	huh I am a touch confused right now. On one hand, I feel quite proud of myself. On the other hand, I'm some-what disgusted. You see, I'm kind of in the midst of a wardrobe dilemma and have been for a while. I only have 1 pair of casual pants left that are: 1) appropriate for winter (because though it is technically spring, it still feels like winter) and 2) is without holes. I have been looking for a few months for new pants to no avail. I tried American Apparel and No Sweat, but both only have super casual or workout wear. so, I tried looking at other stores, but have avoided certain ones that are quite notorious for their human rights violations. It is tired and depressing and sooo frustrating to go from store to store to store trying on pants and not finding anything that fits that I can also afford. Today, I finally gave in. I went to Old Navy because I know that I can fit into their pants (w/ some shortening of course). It was a complete success. I have 3 new pairs of pants, so I don't have to wear the same pants 4 days in a row. However, I feel icky about have invested my money in Old Navy. I am not sure what other options I had. well, I guess I have 1 other option and that is to learn how to make my own clothing. that way, I'm the only one who is working the sweat shop and it's made to fit my body. Problems: 1) cannot sew 2) have no/little style of own 3) don't really have the time or money for the trial and error process that would inevitably follow Argh. I mean, I know that I don't need to live and die off the opinions of others. But, I do like to at least attempt to look nice. That just doesn't seem to be possible while living according to my values at the same time. Does anybody with more knowledge of sweat-free clothing have other suggestions? (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 13th, 2006
6:02 pm	uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn What's that sound you ask? That would be me whining. I just took my first break since 7 this morning that lasted longer than 5 minutes and it was a big mistake! I've been tempted by the luxuries of not thinking and I want to indulge!! wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm not done whining yet. I don't wanna study anymore. My head can't handle it. It's going to rupture from all of the information that it has absorbed. oooooohhhhhh wahhhh. Can't it just be Thursday already so that I can sleep? ok. pity party is over. back to studying. mid-terms are fabulous. I will kick butt. I am 25 years old and do not need to whine. I love physio and I love patho and it's time to return to them. wuh. no. stop. NO WHINING!!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 11th, 2006
2:35 pm	I feel like I could run a marathon! I am so incredibly energized and elated right now! This morning, I stepped out onto my deck to see if the weather was as nice as was forcasted and discovered that it was even better. Not only do we have the warmth they predicted, but the rain we were supposed to get is nowhere in sight. I love the physical response you get from the first hints of spring. It's like your body is trying shake off the winter feelings of hibernation. I know, I know. It's still early March and winter is not over, but that's what makes today's weather all the better. I was able to turn off the furnace and open up the apartment. The air just feels lighter now. I keep sneaking outside to read for a while, then coming back in to work on the computer. (Silly me, I have a laptop. I'm taking it outside!) Ahh, much, much better. So, even though I'm being a good girl and studying for my mid-terms, I still get to enjoy today! Though, I would love to be out exploring, going for a hike, walking by the water, whatever. I certainly have the energy for it right now. On second thought, maybe this burst of energy has less to do with the weather and more to do with the pot of coffee that I just finished off. God bless caffeine! Back to that marathon I feel like I could run - I'm running it (kind of)! William's description of me as an academic sprinter keeps coming back to me, and I came to the conclusion this week that I have achieved the conversion to a marathon runner - and good grief is it exhausting. But, it does produce a great high. Like yesterday, after my quiz - I had been working my tail off all week learning the physiology of the GI system. I was pretty nervous about my quiz and feared that my hard work wasn't going to pay off. But, this marathon runner aced her quiz! Yippee!!! Now, I just need to do the same thing next Wednesday and Thursday for my mid-terms. A couple weeks ago, I recognized a flux of live-journal entries from Creighton students who were escaping from studying. Yes, I also recognize that's what I'm doing right now. So, back to Pathology. Yay. :) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 4th, 2006
11:57 am	My parents are absolutely insane! But, good grief, they sure make me laugh. I just received my birthday present from them in the mail. When I opened the box, all I could see was pastel and flourescent fluff!! Of course, my father sent me one of his favorite things - frightening looking stuffed animals that sing and dance! The first one is a bright, bright yellow duck that jumps and sings "Splish Splash" when you squeeze its wing. The other is a teddy bear all dressed up in her pink pj's. When you squeeze her paw, she says her bedtime prayer and then starts snoring! (this was quite a contrast to the booklet I received in the mail from my dad earlier this week with some great Lenten prayers. Ya know, I'm just waiting for him to include his little friends in one of his homilies. I can see it now, the gospel about the multiplication of the loaves and fishes will be jazzed up by a chorus of singing fishes - I believe he has 3 now.) And of course, my new friends were accompanied by an equally silly birthday card. That hit the spot! Sometimes, I just really need a dose of my goofy family. This should carry me through the next couple weeks, until I come home at Spring Break (at least I think I am). I'll have to keep my friends on hand so they can serenade me during my study breaks. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 17th, 2006
1:07 pm	I just looked out the window and realized that the rain seems to be moving horizontally! This storm reminds me of El Salvador. I can almost hear the sound of the rain hitting the tin roofs - what a comforting feeling. (Comment on this)